Pause and Reflect
A lot can change in six months, and as a future looking person I need reminders to pause and reflect. So today I’m reflecting on July 28th, 2022, the date of the Leo New Moon. Intentionally living in sync with the lunar cycle reminds me to slow down and contemplate. The Moon is the ultimate reflector receiving the radiance of the Sun and reflecting it back to us. The Moon encourages us to be present with our inner world and reflect on where we’ve been and how far we’ve come.
July 28th was my last night as a Chicago resident. With our tiny garden unit packed up, my fiancé and I enjoyed one final Logan Square sunset with a good friend. It wasn’t an extravagant goodbye, but it was significant. For most of my 20s my identity was wrapped up in being a Chicagoan. I was so damn proud to be living in that beautiful city, and rightfully so, it’s a special place.
Growing up in a mostly white, conservative town in Wisconsin my heart longed to be in Chicago. Every time I visited I felt a sense of awe, wonder, and belonging. When I was 15, I hung a Chicago skyline mural on my bedroom wall where it stayed for years and served as a daily reminder of my dream to live in the big city. It wasn’t until I was 23 that my dream became reality.
For six years, I called Chicago home. During that time, I met some of the most incredible people I’ve ever known, learned the meaning of community, and began to do the inner work of knowing and healing myself. Many times, I told myself, my family, and partner I wanted to live in Chicago forever and would never move back to Wisconsin. I’m sure my ancestors had a good laugh at that, but we need to follow our own paths. Chicago was my path for a while until it wasn’t, and that’s ok. Like the Moon and her phases, we change, our perspectives shift, and our desires evolve.
Thinking back to July 28th, 2022, I was struggling. My fiancé and I made the decision to move to Milwaukee in March, but due to our apartment lease we didn’t move until the end of July. Being in the limbo of a prolonged goodbye was hard. I was closing out a massive chapter of my life, and I had no idea what the future held. I felt like I was giving up some of the biggest dreams of my life. Dreams of raising my future children in Chicago, dreams of running for local office, and dreams of rooting myself deeply in Logan Square. Although I knew those dreams were no longer in alignment with my desires, letting go of them brought on depression and loneliness. If I was no longer Emily Hall, Chicagoan, community organizer, and future Aldermanic candidate, then who was I?
I am a native Leo Rising so the New Moon on July 28th was in my first house of body, identity, and personal vibe. It’s only fitting I was composting old versions of myself to create the fertile ground necessary for a new me to emerge. I love how the movement of the planets among the stars serve as a mirror of our lived experiences whether we are aware of it or not.
New Moons are moments to plant seeds, but at the time I wasn’t setting any big intentions. I was mentally preparing for a laborious move and ready to get on with it. Breaking up with Chicago was hard, but like any breakup I knew our relationship had run its course. My time was up in the Windy City, and I was ready for Milwaukee to help me usher in my next chapter. When approaching a Full Moon, I find it helpful to revisit six months prior to the time of the corresponding New Moon. It is amazing to see how much can change in such a short period of time. Knowing which house the lunations occur in ground the transit in our physical reality and illuminate the aspects of our lives impacted by the lunar cycle. What were you up to around July 28th, and what has blossomed for you since then?
Full Moon in Leo
On Sunday, February 5th at 12:27 PM CST the Moon in Leo opposes the Sun in Aquarius signifying a Full Moon. At the same time the Sun and Moon square Uranus in Taurus. A square is a challenging frictional relationship meaning the Sun and Moon are at odds with Uranus the planet of disruption, innovation, and radical change.
In Healing the Spirit episode 54, Jonathan Koe says squares are about slowing down and honoring the needs of two conflicting forces. The Sun and Moon are in a tug of war and balance is needed between honoring the needs of the self, Leo, and honoring the needs of humanity, Aquarius. Uranus in Taurus disrupts the forces that help us feel grounded, stable, and secure. Uranus pushes us out of our comfort zones into new environments where we can grow and flourish.
This Full Moon begs the question, what needs to change so I can feel safe and confident to step into my power? Who or what is causing me to deny my true feelings, thoughts, and desires? Leo, ruled by the Sun, teaches us to embrace our inner radiance and to let it shine. External forces usually cause us to dim our lights and this begins in childhood. Have you had experiences with family or peers where you felt judged or unworthy simply for being yourself?
Over the years we are conditioned by authority figures and the media to contort ourselves into unnatural forms deemed acceptable by patriarchal white supremacist standards. The Full Moon in Leo squaring Uranus breaks us free from the chains of our conditioning and helps us embrace the radiance of our true nature.
I’ll leave you with a Bell Hooks quote which encapsulates the energy of the Full Moon.
“To know love we have to tell the truth to ourselves and others. Creating a false self to mask fears and insecurities has become so common that many of us forget who we are and what we feel underneath the pretense.”
This Leo Full Moon remove the mask and remember who you are.
Journal Prompts
When do I feel the need to mask and repress my true feelings, thoughts, and desires?
In these moments of masking, where am I and who am I around?
What are some of my earliest memories of masking?
What emotions and physical sensations do I feel when I mask?
Where and with who do I feel safe to be my authentic self and express my true feelings, thoughts, and desires?
What do I need to feel safe, comfortable, and confident to express my truth?