Tending the Inner Garden
a Sagittarius Full Moon missive
I wasn’t sure if I was going to write anything this Full Moon. I’m a little out of practice after taking a month off. Writing this newsletter is my most time-intensive creative outlet. One essay takes several days to a couple of weeks before I hit send. It requires sitting at my computer, and as spring gives way to summer, my desk is the last place I want to be. However, the Full Moon in Sagittarius illuminates my fifth house, reminding me that writing is the foundation of my creative and mystical practices, and showing up to the page is always worth it.
The houses in astrology are ecosystems and physical places. They ground the birth chart in mundane reality. The fifth house is the temple of Venus, encompassing where we create and experience pleasure and joy. This may include the bedroom, art studio, club, theater, garden, or kitchen. In my birth chart, the fifth house is ruled by Jupiter in Libra in the third house. The third house encompasses ritual, writing, and local environment/community. My third and fifth houses are intricately linked. It’s why writing is the heartbeat of my creative practice. Most of my creations begin as an idea written in my journal or a Notion template. I also have a Gemini Moon, so writing is a portal to my inner world. It’s how I make sense of my feelings and lived experiences and connect with my soul. Writing is an act of self-care that helps me slow down and build my capacity to live a soulful life.
In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron prescribes daily morning pages, and it’s the best medicine I’ve ever received (besides Milky Oats tincture). Julia defines morning pages as filling three notebook pages with stream of consciousness at the beginning of every day. This is a non-negotiable in her 12-week creative recovery process. While I don’t do morning pages every day, I do them most days, and they have transformed my life. My morning pages have evolved over the years from stream of consciousness to fertile soil for creative inspiration, healing breakthroughs, and downloads from Spirit. I don’t know how I lived my life for so long without this practice.
I first read The Artist’s Way in the summer of 2023. At that time, I had a journal practice, but it looked different. I started journaling in 2021 during the throes of my Saturn Return and recovery from burnout. One day, my inner voice told me I needed to journal. I was confused, lost, and disconnected from myself. I knew journaling would help me find myself again. My nervous system was so overwhelmed, I didn’t think I could keep a physical journal. My thoughts swirled too fast for my hand to keep up. So, I met myself where I was. I was a fast typist, and I downloaded a journal app on my MacBook. I didn’t know what to write, so I sought out journal prompts. First, I subscribed to Moon Omen’s monthly digital horoscope with custom journal prompts for my sign, and that led me to their shadow work workbook. This practice opened the portal to my inner world that I had avoided for so long.
Journaling became the space outside of therapy where I sat with and worked through the pain and suffering I had repressed for many years. Before journaling, I overworked and overcommitted myself. There were no moments for me to pause and reflect. I didn’t know how to say no, set boundaries, or check in with myself to see if what I said yes to was actually what I wanted. I pushed myself past my limits, and my downtime was spent numbing and escaping. Escapism was modeled to me from a young age, and it’s the pattern I have the hardest time breaking to this day.
When I opened the portal to my inner world, everything changed. I began healing years of trauma, got curious about my desires, and reflected upon the spiritual expansion I was experiencing. Journaling evolved into morning pages, and then my creative channel burst open. Morning pages are my number one non-negotiable practice for taking care of myself and tending to my inner garden. Consistent, joyful movement is the other non-negotiable. When I don’t carve out time for my thoughts and feelings to flow onto the page or to move my body, old patterns come home to roost. Today, I am practicing living in alignment with my soul. I desire to live a beautiful, meaningful life, and I’m grateful to say I do. When I consciously and devotionally tend to my inner garden, my outer garden flourishes.
May we all tend to our inner gardens this Strawberry Moon.
Attuning to the Cycle
New Moon in Gemini - May 26th 10:02 p.m. CDT
First Quarter Moon in Virgo - June 2nd 10:41 p.m. CDT
Full Moon in Sagittarius - June 11th 2:42 a.m. CDT
Last Quarter Moon in Pisces - June 18th 2:18 p.m. CDT
Balsamic Moon in Taurus - June 21st 11:12 p.m. CDT
Sol Connections
We were blessed to have the iconic Vanessa Rose as our guest for Pride Month! Vanessa is a chef, writer, historian, and the owner of Mother’s, an LGBTQ+ third space, restaurant, bar, and event venue opening soon!
Get your notebook and pen ready because in this episode, Vanessa takes us to school! She discusses the role food serves in bridging divides, the significance and history of LGBTQ+ third spaces, and her transformative vision for Mother’s as a space that centers equity and inclusion in the service industry.
Tune into Ep. 13 | Mars, Building Longer Tables & Creating LGBTQ+ Third Spaces on Apple Podcasts, Spotify & YouTube!
Herbcrafting
May was an expansive and whirlwind of a month for me. I intentionally live my life as slowly as possible to prevent future episodes of burnout. Sometimes life has other plans, and I have to adapt. In May, I traveled for work, co-hosted my sister-in-law’s baby shower, and from May 18th - 30th traveled abroad for the first time! For the most part, these were joyful experiences, but they were a stark contrast to the hermitude I was slowly easing out of. With so much on my plate, I didn’t have as much space to tend to my inner garden.
In the weeks leading up to our Eurotrip, waves of anxiety crashed over me. My heart longed to experience other cultures and visit one of my ancestral homelands. Yet, my brain and nervous system detected a looming threat. All year, I was unsettled by the news reports of plane crashes, malfunctioning airplanes, and exploited air traffic controllers. My nervous system absorbed this data, and my brain determined that traveling abroad was a threat to my safety. Cue anxiety. First, it emerged through my subconscious in my dreams. In one dream, shadowy figures told me I would die if I went to Europe. In another, my worst fear unfolded before my eyes, and when I woke up, I was shaken. This triggered one of the worst anxiety spirals I’ve ever experienced.
I didn’t know what to do. I was scared, anxious, and had serious doubts about the trip. Fortunately, I have many skills to ground and care for myself, but these are the hardest to access when I’m feeling my worst. During the peak of my anxiety, I reached out to a dear friend for support. Her guidance soothed my worst fears, and she recommended somatic exercises to move the anxiety through my body. Then, I took myself to the garden. I reached my hands deep in the soil and ripped up grass and bindweed. It was cathartic. In the garden bed, the Rose we planted last spring was coming back to life, and I was reminded of her medicine.
Rose is one of my most beloved plant allies. She is the embodiment of Venus with soft, seductive blooms and fierce protective thorns. Her thorns represent the boundaries necessary to allow our soft, tender hearts to be open and vulnerable. Whenever I breathe in the scent of Rose petals, my shoulders relax and my heart expands. Rose is medicine for anxious, depressed, fearful, and grieving hearts.
Lindsay Mack often talks about how our brains are hardwired to keep us safe. Whenever we expand into the unknown, our brain chemistry intervenes with anxiety, depression, self-doubt, self-criticism, etc., in an attempt to keep us safe. I reminded myself of this over and over again. The morning before our flight, I sat at my ancestor altar and prayed for protection. With an hour to spare, I visited our community garden, put my hands in the soil, and received encouragement from my neighbors who share the garden. This soothed me enough to put on a brave face and leap into a new experience. I’m so grateful I did.
Traveling in the Netherlands and Germany was incredible! Upon arrival, I was greeted by the most stunning Roses I’ve ever seen. They were everywhere, climbing up the sides of houses, castles, arched trellises, and sprawling through parks. I was captivated by their beauty and squealed with delight every time I saw them. I was over the Moon to have the support of my heart-healing ally every step of the way.
My Latest Fascinations
🌱 Britten LaRue is a powerful mystic whose teachings speak to the yearnings of my soul. Her podcast Moon to Moon is my go-to for inspiration and encouragement to deepen my mystical practices.
🌱 Wear your rainbows, it’s gay outside!
🌱 My husband is a pop girly at heart, and Tate McRae has been on repeat in our house for the last two weeks.
In inner gardens & Roses, Emily
The information in this newsletter is for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice or treatment.